the one who sliced the fruitcake

(originally posted on september 22, 2008)

i’m trembling, yes i am..

i’m left with nothing but words in my head..

words that explain how this world can be so cruel..

yes, cruel..

it gives us obstacles that seem so great..

so great that sometimes we doubt if we could overcome..

but then in the end, it really doesn’t matter..

cause the real fact of the matter is, they’re there to make us realize that we’re something..

coz when we hurdle these trials and end them triumphantly, that’s when we realize that we’re not just anybody..

we’re somebody..somebody who’s strong enough to ward off the fears..

somebody who lives life to the fullest no matter how difficult living may seem..

sometimes i wonder if i could get out of this dark problem pit that i’ve fallen into..

i’ve been battling with this for so long already..

i tried to grab and hold real tight to the meager rocks and stones that are embedded on the walls just so i could pull myself up and eventually get out of this hollow place..

i thought i’m halfway there, i thought i already saw the light of hope, but man,was i a fool..

it wasn’t really light that i saw..

i was only dreaming..

and then i lost my grip again and fell..

fell really hard..

my bones shattered again..

i wasn’t like this before..

before, i was so strong..

so strong that when i fall into pits like this, i would not even get to the bottom..

so strong that before i reach the bottom, im already grasping things that could prevent me from falling deeper and help me on my way up..

and before dusk comes, im already out of the pit and continuing my journey again..

this time, everything’s so different..

i don’t even know why i let myself fall into it..

it’s so dark..insects even think twice on thriving there..

never in my life have i encountered places as dark as this..

i never thought a pit like this exists..

but i ain’t losing hope..

coz i know, that if i can’t do the climbing on my own, God’s gonna throw the rope and pull me up..

in time, yeah..in time..

and then it’ll be another time for me to be proud of myself again..

cause once again, i have not given up..

i will get out of this dark whatever..

but i wouldnt think about forgetting this place..

coz, in it i found two friends, the water that quenched my thirst during my struggle and the sturdy rocks that gave comfort to my back..

they helped my make sounds so my prayers could be heard..

when i get out of this damned place, im gonna be leaving them there and i would surely miss them..too bad i can’t bring them along with me..

yes, coz they’re bound to be there..

to be part of the pit..

and so, when im already out of this problem, id make it sure that i’ll be seeing them every once in while..

they may not want to see me back but i want them to know that i’m so thankful coz without them, i wouldn’t have survived..

they may be thinking that they have not done anything for me, but they rally helped me a lot..

they helped me in ways that i can’t explain..

and now, im gonna coninue hoping and striving hard to overcome this hardship..

to the one who sliced the fruitcake: if you’re someone from the future, see me soon..