i ain't searchin

(originally posted on September 28, 2008)

Somebody just told me.

” gel, mustah na?may iba kana?.” (c/o anne)

I just let out a sigh. It’s been so long since we ended our so-called love affair and people have been telling me since that day that I shouldn’t worry coz somebody better’s gonna come along. Then it hit me. Do I really have to search?

Well, I don’t think so. Just like what Sir Dennis said (a good friend of mine from steelasia), I don’t need a man to go on with my life. He’s right and it goes to all the young women out there who haven’t found the right one yet ( esp to yra). I’m just 22, life has more to offer. At this point in time, I still could say that I can live without a guy just like the way a bird lives without a microwave oven. If I’m not meant to have one yet, then be it. We’re not supposed to force it coz if we do, it might turn out disastrous again.I won’t deny that I love the feeling of being in love together with its hurting appendices, and yeah I kinda miss it. But that isn’t reason enough to go on searchin. I want to be the one being sought after and not the one who seeks. It’ll feel really good if I’m doin nothing and all of a sudden, somebody notices me , comes up to me and says “Hey, are you up for some coffee or for a walk home?” that’d be a lot more romantic than chasing for that uber handsome crush of yours and end up being hooked on a date with him just because he hasn’t found the woman of his dreams yet. then worse, you’ll realize after the date that he’s not exactly what you’re looking for because beneath his gorgeous facade lies a totally irresponsible, shabu-sniffing saddist moronico.lawl. Ain’t that great?!

So yea, I’d better wait.

Here goes to Kalbo who asked me what if he (my ex D) finds somebody new way before than I do?You are such a good friend, thanks for askin that. I’ll talk to faye later and ask her to reevaluate your relationship coz she might have missed something significant. lawl. (kiddin)

Anyways, yeah. What if that happens?! Of course I’m not gonna go “yehey, let’s celeberate!” (that’s being utterly stupid) and pretend like I’m not affected or something. Somehow, a part of me will be hurt but It’s not like I can do something about it, you know what I mean. It’s his life man and it’s kinda expected. It’s been so long since we parted so he has the very right to enjoy. Happiness just knocked on his door, what power do I have to prevent him from having that, to get all upset and to go yelling at him just because he got to the pit stop first while I haven’t even left the starting line of the first leg yet. We’re not on a race. I just wish him well. After all, he knows what I want for him. I always tell him that.

forgive me if i mentioned names here..peace!=)

have you heard the song “Obviously” by mcfly?!

it’s similar to my situation before, yeah, in one way or another.