Saturday, January 14, 2012
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
When the road your trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must but don't you quit.
Success is failure inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar.
So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.
I really do not know if twas the culprit behind my very quick change of mind.
When I received it from Krizia last Christmas,
I really thought that it was one of my friend's pathetic attempts to keep me from quitting.
I was very sure then. Like 92.58% sure.
Then I made a quick swerve and opted to save cowing for later.
If it did its purpose, thanks to her.
If I made a swift turn out of another reason, thanks to her still.
But you know I'm not thankful that I didn't quit.
and for you to understand, you must know how it feels like to be dragging yourself to work every effin day, 5 times a week.
unsure every single time what drastic and very disturbing scenario might occur in eight hours.
Every working day gives me fright.
Every waking time makes me anxious.
But maybe they were all right.
That it wasn't the right time.
I'm just thankful that I gave myself more time to think things over and that I still have my friends and my family and my 15-30 blessings.
However, after reading it for the 3rd time, I realized that somehow, whoever wrote it was right.
Might not be for my last dilemma but for the events in my life in the previous years, it somehow made its point.
Not once in my life did I decide to quit.
Since I graduated from that school we call SPC, everything turned out the way it wasn't planned.
Every decision I made was done if not on impulse, out of somebody else's influence and ideas.
I wasn't sure what I wanted so I had to ask people for answers and then strive hard to prove them that they were right.
I was kind of good at that, working hard so I wouldn't fail them.
But believe me, working hard and striving hard to reach your goals even if they were inspired ones, wasn't easy. Well, of course because if it were, it would have been called striving easy and working easy. idiot, geli.
Anyway, for someone who had everything new: support system, means of transportation, language, food, ideals, place, laughter sources, surroundings..etc, believe me, it wasn't a walk in the park.
I had to gather extra strength to push me into doing what I was supposed to do and everytime I felt that the world is making things really difficult for me, quitting was my ready answer.
Not once did my cousins hear me say "I'm quitting".
Not once did ate jane and ate fe hear me say "This is it, I'm really quitting".
And not once did I save in my blog drafts the words "I can't do this anymore".
But almost all those times, I ended up not doing so.
And everytime I decided not to or wait for the right time to, something better and unexpected would always come along. Good timing is all it takes.
So yeah, the freak who made this poem must be really right.
I had a taste of Life's sweet nothings because I didn't quit at the wrong time.=)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
like what most of my friends know, this guy has been God's answer to my prayer (although technically, he's actually quite more than what I wished for). as far as I can remember, I was in deep emotional trouble when I asked God to keep me single so I could spare myself from another heartache ( simply because I was sure I was going to finally breakdown on the next one) . but of course, it came out with a bargain, which more or less, went like this:
"but Lord, if you have someone saved for me who isn't like the 78% of the total male population who in one way or another, hurt me, my friends, my neighbors and all the gurls in the world, I might reconsider."
and when this guy came along, I indeed reconsidered. thank heavens for the wonderful midyear gift..=)
So when this guy asked me to make a Prayer for both of us, I agreed even though I didn't know how to. Then I came up with this and he printed, framed and gave it to me as one of his Christmas gifts last year.
and because I only bought push pins this afternoon, the long been planned hanging has been finally implemented.
so there. on my wall. the just-hung-but-already-a-year-old gift from my boo=)
"We pray to you our loving father in thanksgiving for the wonderful blessing that You have bestowed upon the two of us.
We owe you dear God the wonderful years of friendship and the blissful months of love that we've shared.
We humbly ask that you keep us united in love and faith and may you impart in us everyday the spirit of understanding, patience, respect and affection.
Shun us away from misunderstandings, pride, jealousy and bitterness and in times when these negativities can't be avoided, instill in us forgiveness, humility and peace.
Bless our eyes Lord, so that we may always see each other as an inspiration and we that we may always find happiness in each other's company.
Bless our minds so that we may always think of each other as a source of hope and fulfillment.
Bless our mouths so we may not speak ill of each other and that we only utter words of happiness and encouragement.
Bless our ears so that we may always listen to what the other has to say.
Bless our hands so that we may always remember to take good care of each other.
and lastly, bless our hearts so that we may always love each other no matter what happens and that we may always put you in the center of our relationship.
Give us the wisdom Father so we may not consider distance an obstacle to us.
We pray in Your glory and these we all ask in the name of Jesus, Your Son. Amen."
and so far, we've been so blessed..=)
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Jane harris to Cal Langdon:
“You distrust all women because of what one of them did to you.And that’s made you take this anti-marriage stance. But it’s not marriage that’s the problem.It’s ditzes like your ex who don’t take it seriously or get hitched for the wrong reasons or whatever. Don’t blame the institution of marriage for Valerie cheating on you. It wasn’t marriage that made her cheat. She was just a ho.”
I stumbled through this and thought that this might help you go easy on your man-hating campaign.
In your case however, the ex was a male ho. So you kinda have to twist the statement a lil and think that you're the female Cal Langdon.=0
I don't know.
I still believe that someday, someone's gonna love you(thanks nina for the words..hehe)
seriously and make you believe that love indeed exists.
I'm not telling you out of my own experience because you're right, what can a one year and a half old relationship prove?!
I was once hurt too and I admit I swore I'd never trust any guy again because they all walk with "womanizer" stamped on their foreheads.
But I met people who made me believe otherwise.
My friends at work have "to die for" relationships.
My male cousins have Long-term happy love affairs. (kudos to the three of them)
My female cousins have knee-wobbling love stories.
Maimai and John are so much in love.
Sir Arnel and Sir Chris love their wives very much.
My grandparents take care of each other in a very cute manner.
My bestfriend is head-over-heels in love with Kate.
Danreb has "mami" written all over his page.
I have friends who are in their 5th, 6th, 7th year together..
A lot of friends post statuses in FB telling the whole world who lucky they are to have their partners.
I still think that you deserve a chance to believe that people can be monogamous(for married ones) or loyal/faithful (for not yet married ones) to their partners.
Can't help it. I'm surrounded by couples who perfectly personify the characters I see in romcom flicks and in telenovelas. The ones that make me sob and go "aww..when will I ever meet this kind of guy?!"
Maybe, it's really not love that's the problem. Maybe it's those people who fall short in proving that they're in love.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Love indeed knows no distance. Adrian Manila, a 25 year old radiologic technologist, flew all his way to celebrate 16 months of love and friendship with his long distance girlfriend Thea Angelie Braga. At around 1am , Philippine time, the guy finally set foot on Metro Manila grounds with treats in hand and went straight to his girl’s workplace, St. Luke’s Medical Center – Pediatric Intensive Care Unit to meet the nurse who he least thought would capture his very hard-to-please heart.
The two have been walking or better yet “phonecalling” their way through the lovers’ lane since last year and like any other couple, they also had their share of humps and hollows. Unlike others however, they managed to overcome these difficulties even though they’re technically islands, seas and skyways apart.
They both existed. Fact. Geli was even totally aware that Pakdong was one of the greatest football players in school; that a lot of girls go gaga over him; that he was silent as a lamb; that he was one of the few guys that her goon-filled barkada so hated in Senior year and that he was their eXO in CAT. They had very few encounters that she could basically count them with one hand and a few more fingers. So few that if he weren’t seated behind her in Junior Year, she wouldn’t know that he knew how to laugh. But you can’t blame them, they both had their own set of pawns and queens and kings to maneuver. While he was very busy honing his kicking and headbatting skills, she was on the other hand busy watching her crushes in his team and that tall, dark and VERY handsome guy from another school. Lawl.
His world revolved around soccer and jerseys and knee high socks and shin guards and strikers and goals and premier leagues and world cup. And hers? World was all about looking for her lost thing; who’s leading the flag ceremony (which included but was not limited to rosary,novena,morning prayer, bible reading and pete knows what else could help us save our souls,), angelus, 3o'clock prayer, flag retreat; answering homeworks in school because she had no time for them at home; takraw, takyan, Chinese garter, soccer, luksong tinik, tigso; bullying CAT applicants and following CAT officers; talking about their teachers’ not-so-nice habits and not-so-fragrant armpit scents; collecting amorsiko and talisay leaves; cleaning garden boxes; and again, watching that guy from other school beat her classmates’ asses in the soccer field.What about their love lives?! Well, she, together with a bunch of girlfriends kind of like matchmade him with a few girls in class but he was..uhm..apathetic. SIMPLY BECAUSE HE LOVED SOCCER SO MUCH and his ultimate crush was pretty and was her friend and not to mention was taken (I’d rather not name drop unless I want my neck wrung like a wet towel) and her crush?! There’s a lot so I’d rather not start.
Basically that was high school. For him, she was a nobody and for her, he was a soccer player. And after 5 normal years, 2 leap years and sudden twist of fate, they became good friends. So good that she always reminded him to lower his pride and do something about his problem with his ex because she really wanted them to get back together. So good that she technically gave his number to a number of friends so he could find himself a decent girlfriend. So good that she wanted him to be the boyfriend of one of her closest and kindest friends. And so good that she actually listened to him when he told her that the best way to move on from a failed relationship is to drink. And then she became his mocking subject. Whatever she did, whatever came out of her mouth, he always had a say, uhm no. Make that a nasty say. She felt like she hadn’t done anything correct anymore. He would always reprimand her even when a mob of onlookers were around. He even said, straightfowradly at that, that he could always find a girlfriend easily but he would never court a girl with a band aid on her face and yeah, that was (guess who?) GELI. His guts!ugh!.And because of that, she dreaded his presence, she dreaded the entire existence of Adrian Manila. They both hated each other but for some unknown reason, they always show up in a group together And the very common “first impressions last?”-IT”S BOLLOCKS. Coz in the end, they turned out to be having that romantic eyes on each other. JEEZ (cheesy). And they both did a pretty good job on hiding that psychosocial strength Erik Erikson calls el-ow-vee-eee. And I can’t believe I’m saying this. Lawl.
Anyhow, 16 months ago, after a casual confession, a ragged rejection, a birthday celebration and a deep realization, they finally tied the shoelace. It was very queer at first from a nemesis-turned-lover’s standpoint. What can we expect? From classmates, to beermates, to mockingmates, to friends to lovers? Odd. But whatever they shared, no matter how awkward it was for them, was special. And they managed to maintain that special bond for 16 wonderful months amidst jealousy, misunderstanding, pride, differences, distance, rejection, break up attempts and rumors. And now, even after a night of miscommunication, they’re still together. And to that, the girl wants a toast and she wants to say that no matter what, they’re gonna end up together. She wants the guy to know that she loves him so much and nothing’s gonna stop her from doing so, not differences and certainly not distance.=)
-The BandAid Girl
Thursday, October 28, 2010
I didn't know such term existed.
well, i was aware of midlife crisis but not this one.
(click if you're clueless)
anyhow, after answering most of the questions there with a frustrating "yes" (because you're supposed to have at least 12 yeses to know if you're struck with such), i felt so low.
it was said that it happens to people my age more often than not but its normalcy doesn't necessarily eradicate the existing problem/s.
so it's just but normal to feel such.
but i don't want it so I don't want to be normal.
I want to be one of those lucky few who mostly had "no" for an answer..
But because I'm normal, I'm stuck with it. grh.
well, they kind of suggested ways on how to avoid the depressing experience of looking at yourself like you're the poorest thing on earth except that you're the kind of poor who could afford to eat three meals a day, one movie a month, one shirt in three months and save nothing at the end of the year.
it's not nice to compare but I can't help it
especially when your news feed is filled with photos of your friends with the whole of europe as their backdrop, statuses that say that your colleagues just shelled out $*** for dinner, gadgets fresh from the box, unending travels here and abroad and I'm stuck in this hospital, earning a meager wage after I've been shouted at by patients and doctors.
Talk about disappointment.
I never knew that I'd end up like this and why I'd taken up my course in the first place.
I wanted to become an engineer.
It was my ultimate dream.
The article says however, that I could still go after it.
yeah right. but may I just remind you that I'm already 24 and engineering takes 5 years and you can get your license a year after so that's 24 plus 6 if and only if I'd quit right away?
I don't know what to do.
I'm 24, working in Manila while my friends and family are enjoying their asses out down south.
and my salary?! well, it kind of doesn't exist. in fact, to call it salary is even an overstatement.
I don't know what I'm doing here. I go to work everyday for four simple reasons:
*so I could have something to eat,
*so I could pay my rent
*so I could buy load and talk to my boyfriend, siblings and family who are all islands away from me
*so i could buy myself round trip tickets when phone calls won't suffice anymore..(and this happens very rarely)
I know I shouldn't complain because there are thousands who are jobless.
well, I have a job but it's pointless.