Thursday, October 28, 2010

kwarter layp kraysis

a workmate asked me to read this article from a health magazine.
I didn't know such term existed.
well, i was aware of midlife crisis but not this one.
"Quarterlife Crisis"
(click if you're clueless)
anyhow, after answering most of the questions there with a frustrating "yes" (because you're supposed to have at least 12 yeses to know if you're struck with such), i felt so low.
it was said that it happens to people my age more often than not but its normalcy doesn't necessarily eradicate the existing problem/s.
so it's just but normal to feel such.
but i don't want it so I don't want to be normal.
I want to be one of those lucky few who mostly had "no" for an answer..
But because I'm normal, I'm stuck with it. grh.
well, they kind of suggested ways on how to avoid the depressing experience of looking at yourself like you're the poorest thing on earth except that you're the kind of poor who could afford to eat three meals a day, one movie a month, one shirt in three months and save nothing at the end of the year.
it's not nice to compare but I can't help it
especially when your news feed is filled with photos of your friends with the whole of europe as their backdrop, statuses that say that your colleagues just shelled out $*** for dinner, gadgets fresh from the box, unending travels here and abroad and I'm stuck in this hospital, earning a meager wage after I've been shouted at by patients and doctors.
Talk about disappointment.
I never knew that I'd end up like this and why I'd taken up my course in the first place.
I wanted to become an engineer.
It was my ultimate dream.
The article says however, that I could still go after it.
yeah right. but may I just remind you that I'm already 24 and engineering takes 5 years and you can get your license a year after so that's 24 plus 6 if and only if I'd quit right away?
poor me.
I don't know what to do.
I'm 24, working in Manila while my friends and family are enjoying their asses out down south.
and my salary?! well, it kind of doesn't exist. in fact, to call it salary is even an overstatement.
I don't know what I'm doing here. I go to work everyday for four simple reasons:
*so I could have something to eat,
*so I could pay my rent
*so I could buy load and talk to my boyfriend, siblings and family who are all islands away from me
*so i could buy myself round trip tickets when phone calls won't suffice anymore..(and this happens very rarely)
I know I shouldn't complain because there are thousands who are jobless.
well, I have a job but it's pointless.