about a month ago, i lost somebody who’s very close to me-my uncle bebot..it was devastating..i really felt so low coz he was so dear to our family and then he suddenly left us.. we’ve been through hell because of that..but life must go on, they say.. so i started to regain my composure and began living like nothing happened..weeks passed and i lost another man again- him.. i thought i was strong but these experiences have made me realize that i wasn’t, im not and i don’t know if i’ll ever be again.. losing somebody, no matter how sugarcoated the parting words are, is really very painful.. they say it’s part of growing up but when you’re the one enduring the pain, you couldn’t help but believe that it’s never that easy.. with my uncle, there’s nothing i could do but pray for the eternal repose of his soul.. with my ex, it’s a lot harder. i so wanted to keep the relationship but at the same time i rejoiced that it ended.. i love the man but destiny has made it sure that we know and understand that we’re not meant to be together..cliche as it may seem but it’s true, at least in our part..was there a third party? uhm no.well, that’s as far as i know. if there is and im just not aware, well then, let’s leave the matter untouched.. after all, everything happens for a reason and i don’t wanna hold hold grudges coz it’ll only make my shoulders heavier.. he said there’s no third person involved and i want to believe him so if you’re thinking otherwise, just keep your thoughts to yourself and let me believe what i want to believe.. where am i?uhm yea, AMBIVALENCE..it depicts what i truly feel inside at this moment.. im happy and im not.. im happy because at long last, we have gained the courage to leave the relationship that’s not makin us happy anymore.. he has to be happy and i have to be happy too..we’re just unfortunate coz we have to find that happiness in a sad manner, ouside our comfort zones..ironic.yea.. im sad.obviously because i truly loved him.. who in her sane mind would feel euphoric after losing someone that she loves so much?nobody..but like what i have said we have to part ways..we have to continue living without each other..and there’ no turnin back or else we’ll let ourselves wallow i deep pain again..
now, we’re friends and i’m thankful that our goodbyes weren’t bitter.. i wish him bliss and i wish that he’ll finally find the one that he’s looking for..we have to let go, we have to move on, we have to grow..may god bless us both..and yea, you too.hehe
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