the unusual state of mind

(originally posted on November 19, 2008)

when i felt low a few months ago, i prayed for an event that could at least make me forget the pain that i felt inside..God made me watch the Lifehouse concert.. it did take my mind from the misery that i was into. But then after the event, i was back to my sobbing state again..i couldn’t blame Him..i just asked for a temporary relief, right?i didn’t say forever..still, i thanked Him.

when a friend of mine was in serious trouble, the kind of trouble that only then i knew existed, she felt helpless. there was really no way out. because i couldn’t help her any better, i prayed. I asked God to enlighten both of us so we could see even the narrowest path to the best solution. I thought we were hopeless but i kept on including her in my prayers.i waited for so long without knowing that God has already done his wonders. before i realized it, my friend had already seen the light. now, we’re not done with the problem yet but she’s doing well. please help me pray for her.

when somebody made me feel like i was the worst person on earth and i wasn’t worth anything at all, I asked God to give me something that could me make believe that like beggars, the elite, the IT consultants, the salesladies, the bankers, the doctors, the astronauts, the mailmen, the butchers , the ceos of the biggest companies, like any other person in this universe, my worth’s more than what bill gates could make in his entire lifetime. He answered me with a news that did not only make me proud but my family and my friends as well.

i got totally bored and bummed with my life at one point in October.I got so tired of looking for solutions to my problems.I got so tired of waking up each day, thinking about how other people would end up theirs feeling satisfied. I prayed for something that would keep me busy while opportunities weren’t at hand yet, He gave me Doc Gigi..now, I’m enjoying the kind of life in a way that only i understand. It’s stressful but i feel fulfilled knowing that God lead me to it.

one day last week, i went through a situation that made me feel like all the bad luck wishers connived to let me down. you have no idea how i felt so unfortunate then. it was like the heavens closed all its doors on me. every turn i made seemed a wrong turn. every choice i made seemed a wrong choice. and even the things that i couldn’t control joined forces to stomp me down. i had nothing. so i rummaged through my bag and found 2 rosaries, i got one out and prayed the rosary. I told him that if He really meant to give me all those discouragement and tribulations, i would wholeheartedly accept them but i plead for a stronger heart coz mine has already lost all the energy it previously had. with tears continuously wetting my cheeks and my hanky, my fone rang. it was my mother. all the words that i longed to hear started going out of her mouth. God knew how thankful i was for what he did. sending my mom and my entire family has always been his best way to answer me. i then felt stronger although some inhibitions remained. however, t the end of the day, everything went super cool.

that is how great He is.no matter how dark our world may seem, as long as we continue believing in Him, a tiny flicker shall always make its way to give us light. when we feel down, we shouldn’t lose hope coz there will always be something good in store for us. when we feel like we have nothing or we can’t do anything, we should try counting our blessings and then we’ll realize that there’s so much to be thankful for. We’ll see that we may not own Petronas towers, or we may not be wearing Pradas and Dolces, we may not be driving Jaguars but we’re rich with his countless blessings. we’re rich with family’s love, with friends, with yummy donuts, with continuous flow of egloves, with sun’s rays, with the moon’s light, with the rolling back of gas prices, with steady supply of vegetables, with healthy bodies, with friendster, with good employers, with good employees, with good workmates, with crinkles, with water, with coffee, with oxygen, with clothes..THERE”S A LOT to be thankful for. i hope you have started counting your blessings too.