Sunday, January 16, 2011

Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road your trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must but don't you quit.

Success is failure inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar.
So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.

I really do not know if twas the culprit behind my very quick change of mind.
When I received it from Krizia last Christmas,
I really thought that it was one of my friend's pathetic attempts to keep me from quitting.
I was very sure then. Like 92.58% sure.
Then I made a quick swerve and opted to save cowing for later.
If it did its purpose, thanks to her.
If I made a swift turn out of another reason, thanks to her still.
But you know I'm not thankful that I didn't quit.
and for you to understand, you must know how it feels like to be dragging yourself to work every effin day, 5 times a week.
unsure every single time what drastic and very disturbing scenario might occur in eight hours.
Every working day gives me fright.
Every waking time makes me anxious.
But maybe they were all right.
That it wasn't the right time.
I'm just thankful that I gave myself more time to think things over and that I still have my friends and my family and my 15-30 blessings.
However, after reading it for the 3rd time, I realized that somehow, whoever wrote it was right.
Might not be for my last dilemma but for the events in my life in the previous years, it somehow made its point.
Not once in my life did I decide to quit.
Since I graduated from that school we call SPC, everything turned out the way it wasn't planned.
Every decision I made was done if not on impulse, out of somebody else's influence and ideas.
I wasn't sure what I wanted so I had to ask people for answers and then strive hard to prove them that they were right.
I was kind of good at that, working hard so I wouldn't fail them.
But believe me, working hard and striving hard to reach your goals even if they were inspired ones, wasn't easy. Well, of course because if it were, it would have been called striving easy and working easy. idiot, geli.
Anyway, for someone who had everything new: support system, means of transportation, language, food, ideals, place, laughter sources, surroundings..etc, believe me, it wasn't a walk in the park.
I had to gather extra strength to push me into doing what I was supposed to do and everytime I felt that the world is making things really difficult for me, quitting was my ready answer.
Not once did my cousins hear me say "I'm quitting".
Not once did ate jane and ate fe hear me say "This is it, I'm really quitting".
And not once did I save in my blog drafts the words "I can't do this anymore".
But almost all those times, I ended up not doing so.
And everytime I decided not to or wait for the right time to, something better and unexpected would always come along. Good timing is all it takes.
So yeah, the freak who made this poem must be really right.
I had a taste of Life's sweet nothings because I didn't quit at the wrong time.=)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

His Love in Us

like what most of my friends know, this guy has been God's answer to my prayer (although technically, he's actually quite more than what I wished for). as far as I can remember, I was in deep emotional trouble when I asked God to keep me single so I could spare myself from another heartache ( simply because I was sure I was going to finally breakdown on the next one) . but of course, it came out with a bargain, which more or less, went like this:
"but Lord, if you have someone saved for me who isn't like the 78% of the total male population who in one way or another, hurt me, my friends, my neighbors and all the gurls in the world, I might reconsider."
and when this guy came along, I indeed reconsidered. thank heavens for the wonderful midyear gift..=)
So when this guy asked me to make a Prayer for both of us, I agreed even though I didn't know how to. Then I came up with this and he printed, framed and gave it to me as one of his Christmas gifts last year.
and because I only bought push pins this afternoon, the long been planned hanging has been finally implemented.
there. on my wall. the just-hung-but-already-a-year-old gift from my boo=)

"We pray to you our loving father in thanksgiving for the wonderful blessing that You have bestowed upon the two of us.
We owe you dear God the wonderful years of friendship and the blissful months of love that we've shared.
We humbly ask that you keep us united in love and faith and may you impart in us everyday the spirit of understanding, patience, respect and affection.
Shun us away from misunderstandings, pride, jealousy and bitterness and in times when these negativities can't be avoided, instill in us forgiveness, humility and peace.
Bless our eyes Lord, so that we may always see each other as an inspiration and we that we may always find happiness in each other's company.
Bless our minds so that we may always think of each other as a source of hope and fulfillment.
Bless our mouths so we may not speak ill of each other and that we only utter words of happiness and encouragement.
Bless our ears so that we may always listen to what the other has to say.
Bless our hands so that we may always remember to take good care of each other.
and lastly, bless our hearts so that we may always love each other no matter what happens and that we may always put you in the center of our relationship.
Give us the wisdom Father so we may not consider distance an obstacle to us.
We pray in Your glory and these we all ask in the name of Jesus, Your Son. Amen."

and so far, we've been so blessed..=)